What your car says about you...

Acura Integra	- I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
Acura Legend	- I'm too bland for German cars
Acura NSX	- I am impotent
Audi 90	- I enjoy putting out engine fires
Buick Park Avenue	- I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Eldorado	- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
Cadillac Seville	- I am a pimp
Chevrolet Camaro	- I enjoy beating the hell out of people
Chevrolet Chevette	- I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette
Chevrolet Corvette	- I'm in a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino	- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Chrysler Cordoba	- I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Datsun 280Z	- I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Dart	- I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona	- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Ford Fairmont	- (See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang	- I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Crown Victoria	- I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them
Geo Storm	- I will start the 11th grade in the fall.
Geo Tracker	- I will start the 12th grade in the fall.
Honda del Sol	- I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all
Honda Civic	- I have just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord	- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming
Infiniti Q45	- I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending
Isuzu Impulse	- I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports
Jaguar XJ6	- I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.
Kia Sephia	- I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp
Lamborghini Countach	- I only have one testicle
Lincoln Town Car	- I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Mercury Grand Marquis	- (See above)
Mercedes 500SL	- I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
Mercedes 560SEL	- I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
Mazda Miata	- I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
MGB	- I am dating a mechanic
Mitsubishi Diamante	- I don't know what it means either
Nissan 300ZX	- I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
Oldsmobile Cutlass	- I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts
Peugeot 505 Diesel	- I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
Plymouth Neon	- I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
Pontiac Trans AM	- I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 911 Turbo	- I have a three inch thingie
Porsche 944	- I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me
Saturn SC2	- (See Honda Civic)
Subaru Legacy	- I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu
Toyota Camry	- I am still in the closet
Volkswagon Beetle	- I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volkswagon Cabriolet	- I am out of the closet
Volkswagon Microbus	- I am tripping right now
Volvo 740 Wagon	- I am frightened of my wife